Am I Enough?

Am I good enough? I keep on thinking about that.

Relationships, love, success.

Happiness.

I keep on thinking if I am good enough? Do I deserve this? Do I deserve this happiness? 

Well if not happiness, then do I deserve this sadness? This feeling of uncertainity whether I am doomed to be one of the sad and lonely in the end.

I wonder if I am going to be good enough for any of the good things that might accidently come my way.

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Unsure

I am not sure if this is the toughest time of my life right now or was the stuff in my past the most difficult time I’ll ever go through?

It’s the circumstances.

Everytime, it’s these circumstances.

And I don’t have anyone else to blame but me. I feel helpless. Like I don’t have any control over my life.

Is it me?

Has it always been me? Am I to be blamed for all of this?

All of this pain? All of this heartbreak?

The love of my life is slipping away from my hands and I can’t do anything. Like I never did anything when I was asked to fulfill someone else’s dreams, someone else’s ambitions.

Is this the same thing? Am I a coward? Am I one of those people that I have always abhored?

People who don’t have a spine, who can’t fight for their love just because “cricumtsances”?

Have I become all of the things that I have hated all this time?

I keep on coming back.

Every single time, for some reason. You would think that I just give up on this writing shit.

But nope.

I won’t.

Because that’s the kind of stubborn asshole yours truly is.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay consistent but hopefully, I will.